The past two months have been hard and I’ve been struggling. If I’m being honest here. I’m depressed & anxious which has been hard. It has  been a difficult situation every since my mom has come home yesterday. Taking care of her has been frustrating. I am just scared of it all & if I’m being completely honest this is going to be even more harder than what I already been through so far.

Let me explain to you all about what I’m talking about. My mom is disabled and has mobility problems. Two months ago she had two strokes. Now she’s exhibiting dementia signs.

You might be in this type of situation one time in your life I don’t know. You may not even know if or when it could happen because it can come out of the blue just like what had happened to my family unexpectedly. I didn’t know she was going to have a stroke let alone have two strokes and now she has to deal with all of this and I know she feels like she’s probably a nuisance and I know I say things I don’t mean to say but it’s reality. We all get very frustrated and we all say things that we don’t mean to say but it’s life unfortunately. Do you regret what you say sometimes because  I guarantee that you do.

Even if we get used to doing all of this by ourselves with some nurse help here and there it’s still difficult it’s not simple, a breeze whatsoever. It’s more complicated and at times you get mad because it’s not what you’re used to & it’s not your typical lifestyle it’s a change. A change in the wrong direction. A change that nobody wants to have to be put through. You know it’s even harder for my mom because you know what we have the same s*** but it’s still embarrassing. It’s not easy to have some people go changing you or flipping you around putting you there and putting you here to do what they have to do to get your situation taken care of & I feel for her.

It’s has made a hard impact on my life and my family’s life. We all want a way that we wish that we didn’t have to go through this but it’s our new life and we have to just do the best that we can. The feeling that we have to go through every day now.

I’m struggling through the new reality. It’s hard you all. It’s really hard & I never thought in a million years I was going to ever be faced in this type of situation ever.